What to do when the child is lying

Child Lies is a widespread psychological problem that seriously disturbs many parents. Therefore, when parents first encounter children's lies, it causes shock. In order to educate an honest person, and if the child has already begun to lie, then otvechat him from this disastrous habit, it is important to understand the

, which is what drives the child and induces him to lie. Although, one should not forget that the curious child's mind is inclined to fantasy. Having played games, children often confuse fantasies and reality, and they themselves can not distinguish where the truth is, and where is fiction. Therefore, the tasks of parents still relate to the ability to recognize the fine line of lies and fantasy.


1. Causes of childish lie
2. Typical mistakes of parents pushing children to lie
3. How to recognize the child's lie
4. What to do to parents and counseling of a psychologist
5. Instead of finding

Causes of childish lie

Causes of childish lies are numerousand varied. This is the desire to hide your act, and attempts to decorate reality, and much more. Psychologists have identified a number of key factors that encourage the child to say lies. Let's consider them in more detail.

What to do when the child is lying

  • Fear of Fear of .In this case, a lie is a protective reaction and a way to avoid negative consequences. Most often occurs in families where the child is brought up in excessive severity and treats parents with anxiety.
  • Self-assertion .The child uses deception in order to attract attention to his person, to raise the level of significance in the circle of peers. As a rule, reasons of this kind are characteristic for children, not self-confident, their forces, suffering from lack of attention from their relatives.
  • Attempt to gain power .In this case, the child's lie acquires the features of psychological attack and manipulation. This is a rather complicated case that requires the assistance of specialists from a psychologist and a neuropathologist.
  • Psychological self-defense .For such a lie there are two key factors. In the first version, the child resorts to lies, in order to protect something important to him( it may be friends or just the right to personal space).In the second case, the child uses deception as a means of self-rehabilitation, which is based on the fear of disappointing meaningful people, not to justify the hopes and expectations that are entrusted to him.
  • Negative Example of .Often, adults themselves do not notice how giving the child a reason to lie. For example, when condemning someone in the eyes, gossip in his presence. So, an adult seems to have not done something or slightly changed the facts, and for a kid it is a direct signal to the fact that a lie is in principle permissible.
  • Emotional Discharge .In this case, the child uses a lie as a means of psychological rehabilitation. He can very quickly survive some problems of his life and seek to get rid of them, dropping emotional stress. To do this, he can resort to deception, as the only available method of influencing reality.
  • The output of the negative energy .A child with a low self-esteem, difficult to come in contact with peers and has problems in education, may be extremely angry inside. He lies not because he is afraid of punishment, but rather, on the contrary, in order to provoke a conflict situation and thus give way to the accumulated internal anger. It is quite complicated and running situations that do not require professional psychological assistance.
  • Having identified the causes of childish lies, it will be easier for parents to deal with the harmful habit of their child. In some cases, it may be necessary to work on their own, and sometimes just need help from a psychologist.

    Typical mistakes of parents pushing children to lie

    Unfortunately, in the vast majority of cases, parent behavior and improperly chosen methods of education are the cause of childish lies. Scientists have identified a number of key parental errors that can provoke this problem.

    The first problem. Psychologists have found that in the first place the problem of child abuse is widespread in those families where authority and authority of parents have no borders. The person of a small person seeks to show his independence and individuality in all possible ways. Often, the only way to do this is to lie, which in this case is used by the child as an attempt to separate psychologically from parents and, thus, increase his credibility in the circle of comrades.

    A friend problem. If the parents themselves are inclined to speak the lie, then they not only provoke the lie of their child, but also create in their minds a psychological imbalance. How can you forbid others to do what you do? If parents do not normally fulfill their promise to the baby, if they allow themselves, say, not to answer phone calls while asking a child, telling clients that they are not at home, then you should not be surprised if such parents soon encounter a fraud from the sideyour childAfter all, children need not only to teach and educate, they must themselves be an example for them. After all, parental authority plays an important role in the life of the child, especially in the early years.

    The third problem. Very often, the main factor that provokes the child to lie is the lack of attention and manifestation of love from the parents. In this case, the baby begins to speak not the truth, subconsciously trying to attract the attention of his mother and father to his person, and sometimes in order to appear in their eyes better and more significant. To do this, children begin to attribute to themselves the non-existent successes and achievements. Although sometimes psychologists observe cases of self-prescribing by the child, which had the same purpose in their essence.

    The fourth problem. Fear of cruel punishment is the main motive for lying, both for young children and for adolescents. It already simply triggers the natural instinct of self-preservation. To prevent this from happening, adults should be wise to choose punitive measures so that they do not give up their children to terrible inmates. Try to avoid corporal punishment, as well as those educational measures that offend and degrade the child's dignity.

    The fifth problem. Increased control and hyperopia by parents can also motivate the child to lie, in an attempt to protect their personal space. This is especially true for children in the years of becoming a person, namely, in the age category from three to five years, as well as in adolescents in the transitional age.

    The Sixth Problem. A parenting image can also push a child to lie. Moreover, at first glance, these factors may not be related to each other. However, in fact, in a falsehood, the child subconsciously wants to convey to his parents the state of his inner discomfort and thus attract the attention of adults to his problem.

    How to recognize the child's lie

    There are a number of features that allow you to determine which baby lies to you. These include the following:

    • eye drain and avoidance of direct vision;
    • rubbing eyes, temples, touching the chin;
    • holding while talking hands in pockets or behind;
    • nose tip scan;
    • gating and stroke or stroke of the neck;
    • coughing, unnecessary pauses between words and sentences;
    • lifting hands to mouth during a conversation as if the child is trying to close his mouth;
    • text.

    It should be noted that if you notice these symptoms from your child, then do not hurry to blame him for a lie, and analyze his behavior, think of what the baby did not trust you.

    What to do when the child is lying

    What to do for parents: advice from a psychologist

    Parents who have caught a child in deception, in any case, should not be punished severely, it will lead to even greater emotional closeness and distance between loved ones. After all, it is clear that, first of all, the problem of child lies is caused by certain psychological problems and not enough frank, trusting relations with parents. Therefore, in order to find solutions, it is important to eliminate the root cause. Helping to establish contact with a child will help the counsel of psychologists.

  • Review your claims and claims to your child. Perhaps they are too inflated?
  • Let the baby openly express her negative emotions and bad mood.
  • Avoid harsh punishment and long reprimand.
  • Try to do everything possible to make emotional contact with your baby and win lost trust.
  • If a child confesses to an offense, respond as calmly as possible, discuss the problem with the child and be sure to praise him for telling the truth.
  • As often as possible, praise your child, pay attention to his questions and talk about what he loves very much.
  • In a difficult situation when solving the problem of childish lies can not be solved by yourself, seek advice from a psychologist.
  • There are different approaches for every age group of children. Applying methods for re-educating infants to adolescents is unlikely to succeed. And in the opposite situation, a little child will not be able to understand your requirements.

    How to escape the lie of children 3-5 years of age

    The rules that apply to young children of preschool age are extremely simple.

  • Be honest yourself, because at this age the parental example is of paramount importance.
  • Tell kids stories and read fairy tales about how dangerous and dangerous lies. In such a young age, the information perceived better is perceived, arranged in an artistic, figurative form.
  • Tell your child that you love him and you will not punish him very much if he comes to you and tells the truth.
  • How to escape the lie of children 5-10 years of age

    When it comes to preventive measures for children of elementary school age, it is important for parents to understand that the child is a small person and it is necessary to take into account his mood and interests, trying to change something in his behavior.

  • Allow the child to have his own personal space and territory. After all, for the most part, the desire for independence and autonomy prompts the lying of children of this age.
  • Respect the secrets of the child and do not inquire with him anything. If the child will trust you, then tell everything about your own will.
  • Talk to your child and argue your decisions, avoid unwarranted bans.
  • How to escape the lie of adolescents

    Educational work with adolescents is the most difficult. It is very important for a child and parents to establish a trust relationship.

  • With children, one should talk as much as possible about the souls, talk about oneself and withstand a friendly tone in the conversation.
  • Try to minimize the level of control over the child, giving him maximum autonomy. Control is best done so that it does not offend the child.
  • If you forbid something, then try to explain in detail to the teenager you are moving.
  • Give your child the opportunity to feel like an independent person, responsible for their actions and their consequences.
  • Children's lie is often based on parental misunderstanding and psychological discomfort. Try to become your child a true friend, show love and understanding, create an atmosphere of harmony in your family, and then in the minds of the guy there simply will be no need for a lie.

    Instead of Conclusion,

    What to do when the child is lying Family is a social center of a trusted society. Therefore, it is very important that all its members were honest, both in relation to each other, and to others. In raising children, parents should be aware that the harmonious personality of a child can grow only with the proper attitude towards her, great patience and love. Be honest with your children, give a positive example, and then the childish lie will pass away your family.