how to bring up a child without screaming and punishment
- 15 Sep 21:15
A child's upbringing is a very time-consuming and responsible process. Many parents are breaking their heads on how to approach their children in the period of their rapid growth. Particularly sensitive subject of punishment.
It's no secret that every child often has anantics, in most cases, simply not understanding the negative side of his act. It is also not a secret to parents that the vast majority of children are capricious and naughty. But is it worth screaming and breaking up on a baby? After all, it can seriously harm his psyche, make him locked and even annoyed.
In this article, we will try to answer this question, and also consider the softer methods of upbringing children that will allow you to find a common language with your child and avoid conflicts.
1. What is punishment and how does it work?
2. Causes of childish disobedience.
3. Basic principles of education of children without screaming and punishment.
4. Typical mistakes of parents, psychologist's advice.
5. Instead of the conclusion.
What is punishment and how does it work?
To begin with, it's worth understanding what a punishment is and what it is in itself. First of all, punishment is the artificial formation of a child in a less favorable environment than his usual environment in order to obtain from him a result.
On the other hand, the punishment may be applied after the child has committed some kind of antics in order to instill a sense of responsibility for his actions.
This method of education is generally accepted, popular, universal and simple. Parents or teachers do not need to spend time looking for any more subtle ways to stimulate the child, and hence do not need to understand his personality, his personality.
The method of upbringing is prevalent among most kindergarten educators, in the realities of which it is not possible to avoid punishment. Nevertheless, there are certain limits.
Causes of Child Disobedience
Causes of childish mischief may be the most diverse phenomena. Nevertheless, in the vast majority of cases, the reason for disobedience lies in the behavior of the educator itself. The child is always very sensitive and responds to the surrounding things, and often his actions are reflections of his reaction.
There are four main reasons why children are not the best images that cause their parents' irritation and disorientation:
Remember that it is important for children not to feel lonely! Children are very important to your attention.
In order to avoid the occurrence of negative stories and consequences in this scenario, you must give the pet more rights.
Learn how to detect early aggression and help your child overcome anger You can here: An Aggressive Child: Recommendations to Parents
About which age to bring a child to independence and what qualities to develop in it can be found here: How to develop inchild self-esteem
Basic principles of raising children without shouts and punishments
A behavioral principle plays an important role in bringing up a child without punishment and crying. In order for the child to understand that it is inadequate enough to demonstrate this to some kind of effective action( only in no way can the child be harmed).
The child should understand what other people feel when they behave in this way. This is a very important method, which educates the child in an independent internal sense of justice and avoids direct punishment.
You should be an example for a child, and not be some kind of gendarme, set strict rules. It is also very important that you also acknowledge your guilt when you are wrong. This will be an ideal example of behavior in such situations for your baby.
Your apology to the child is very important if you have done wrong with him. In addition, the so-called explanatory talk is of paramount importance. This method can be used both independently and with punishment.
It is important to understand that children are not aware of many laws that surround our lives, they just do not know some rules and norms.
Thus, the role of explanatory conversations is very large. If a child has committed a negative act, a detailed "flight analysis" should be arranged: explain why this act is wrong, explain what people feel about, show how to do it right and advise what can be done to remedy the situation.
Typical Mistakes of Parents, Advice of a Psychologist
Completely abandoning cries and punishments in upbringing children is very difficult. There are cases where punishment is to some extent justified. For example, when children are required to remove scattered toys for themselves. In addition, at the expense of punishment, sometimes the child's safety is established, which can not be neglected too.
If you want to completely avoid punishment in the educational process, psychologists advise to create a comfortable and safe environment around the child.
Unfortunately, most parents use penalties for other purposes that do not justify it at all. And such cases can and should be avoided. In the same cases, when the punishment does not get around, it is necessary to clearly and clearly make it clear to the child that they are punished.
It is worth mentioning the reason for the .This is a very important educational aspect. If the baby did not realize why he fell into disfavor, at best, the benefit of such a penalty would be zero, and in the worst - it would cause direct harm to the child, as it could increase in it self-doubt, self-sufficiency, complexesand fears.
Find out about childhood fears, where they come from and how they can be corrected, from our article: Childhood fears: advice for parents
In addition, psychologists note one common popular parental mistake when mom and dad have different approaches to punishing a child. One must categorically avoid situations when mom allows something, and Dad prohibits, and vice versa.
Parents should have a clear and clear system of assessment of the baby's behavior. Otherwise, the child can seriously disturb the perception of what is good and what is bad. Therefore, it is very important that parents, in the first place, agree on all the intricacies of parenting among themselves.
If you still have not been able to completely abandon punishment, it is very important at least to avoid physical punishment of children. After 5-6 years, any physical impact is perceived by the child as a profound humiliation and can lead to a negative transformation of the individual.
There are several rules for raising children without screaming and punishing. If parents follow them, it will be much easier for them to establish relationships with their children, educate them in a calm atmosphere, love and understanding.
- Do not intimidate the baby , is an inadmissible fright to achieve obedience, avoid ironic and sarcastic intonations;Do not fight for a cowardice,
do not leave the child alone until he falls asleep in fear of falling asleep;If the child wakes up in fear - gently calm him, talk with the baby fun and firmly - so he will understand that there is no reason for fear, talk with the child about the world around, lack of love and understanding can be the source of the emergence of fears.
- The secrets of the child's imagination. In their imagination, children see a variety of horrible "monsters", but they can not yet force the imagination to win them.
A child, in the course of communication about the actual memoirs of terrible episodes of his life, paints colored pencils and explains the depicted. It is supposed that as a result of a session a child will come "reorientation" of internal psychological "settings" from protective to constructive - positive.
Let the baby imagine "evil" with his parents and, say, mentally will enter the dark room where "someone" sits - nothing will happen afterwards. Repeat this method 2-3 times and the kid acquires the ability to control the imagination.
- For grown-up children, exercises can help get rid of other complexes: fear scenes, transition to another school. Then this method should be used already in reality, but very carefully and gradually. You need to be able to simulate the environment in which the kid completely controls himself. If the child is afraid of spiders, he can gradually get used to them, looking at the photo from the books. If you are afraid of darkness - give a baby flashlight, it will allow him to feel confident and control over the terrible situation.
- Call for help. .. a toy. Let the child choose the most beloved toy and instruct her to protect her.
- Think beforehand the epic - the story "to sleep".Tell us how the heroes overcame their fears about how the legions "bad" and "terrible" things won.
- Do not hesitate to get advice from professional psychologists. A regular psychologist works in every kindergarten and school institution, which helps to disassemble with parents and children all the difficult situations. The main thing is, asking for professional help, be prepared for a frank dialogue.
For more information on the role of parents in the upbringing of your son, you can in our article: How to properly raise a boy
To learn about typical mistakes of parents in the upbringing of the daughter, as well as tips for upbringing, you can here: How to raise the girl
Instead of the conclusion
Soway, completely avoid punishment for the child will not succeed, but seriously reduce their number can and even need. It is important to understand your child and listen to him.
More often put yourself in his place: "What would I feel in his place?but how would I have done in his place? "Remember that your children are your reflection and many of their behavior depends on yours.