Teaching Teenagers: Typical Parent Mistakes
- 10 Sep 17:30
The phrase "adolescent age" is frighteningly affecting parents. All mothers and dad, with a few exceptions, understand that this period, which experts estimate as a difficult stage with a fatal decision, is not the easiest in the life of the child.
The teenager is in conflict not only with others but withand, above all, with himself. Yes, love is regarded as the feeling of the highest order, parental care - a rigid dictatorship.
When making mistakes, when trying to take steps in an "adult" way, the child farewell to his childhood. However, the realities are that the immaturity of social adaptation again brings him back to the children's world. But all that is to decide - it's freedom, and to bear responsibility for them - an unbearable burden that the maximalist-teenager is not ready to accept.
Table of contents
1. Features of adolescence
2. What are the difficulties associated with the education of
3. Typical mistakes of parents in the education of adolescent siblings
4. Typical mistakes of parents in the upbringing of teenage daughters
5. Advice of psychologists
Features of adolescence
A long-awaited moment when a teenager enters an adult's life is preceded by an ambiguous period of personality development. The duration of this stage of development is approximately 7 years. Eleven age is the beginning of abrupt change in the mental component of the adolescent, the intense formation of physical parameters of the body. A significant jump in growth is comparable to lightning fast development of the fetus from conception to 2 years.
The clumsy figure of a teenager, due to a certain clumsiness, lack of clear proportions, is an indicator of the rapid growth of the skeleton, after which the muscle tissues do not have time to develop. Significant increase in the amount of heart muscle, lungs allows breathing to be deep and fulfill the main task: to provide an oxygen growing, young organism. The general condition of the adolescent tends to fluctuate pressure that provokes a headache.
Rebuilding at the level of hormones, the body of a young man on the path to puberty. The increase in the number of estrogen in girls, the amount of testosterone in boys - the norm during maturation.
Androgens, whose level is equally increasing, contribute to the formation of secondary sexual characteristics. What do all these changes lead to?
From the medical point of view, the processes listed give rise to completely justified and quite understandable mood changes, make an unstable emotional background, cause increased excitability, which is sometimes accompanied by an extreme degree of impulsivity.
As a result of adolescence, depression may also occur, namely: aggressive behavior, anxiety, behavioral problems.
The teenagers are of paramount importance to peer relationships. Adhering to various social roles, the child at this age is actively seeking self-awareness. The social outlook shaped by society, the insuperable desire to understand itself - all this causes contradictions, problematic perceptions of situations.
Early adolescence: from 10-11 to 14 years of life
This period is regarded by professionals as an intermediate component between the last days of childhood and the upcoming maturation. The irresistible desire to become part of the world of "parents" is so strong that the centerpiece of life begins to occupy the social world, namely, peers.
At physiology level, everything is clear enough. The cerebral cortex can no longer manage subcortical processes, control weakens, and the adolescent simply can not answer for emotion. All reactions take place quite slowly, hence the misunderstanding between adults and children, because there is no immediate humility, unconditional subordination, and the answer to the question is not immediately necessary.
Changes in the psychological component occur in interaction with the memory, which at this stage weakens, and thinking. The sensitivity to the thought of a teenager surrounding people is increasing, which entails the extreme degree of vulnerability. Some guys are ready to silence, holding back feelings, others rebel, show rejection of any norms.
Middle adolescence: from 14 to 16-17 years
14 years - the time of gradation of moral systems, along with social. Doubting, committing deeds, similar to the elderly, the teenager is absolutely not sure of the end, so he shows at the slightest request to explain their motives, rude, accompanied by irritability, stubbornness, resulting in disobedience.
The sensation of the world, through the perception of itself, sometimes leads to extremes. Loneliness is over, constant loneliness is a signal for parents. This does not mean that thinking in silence is dangerous to life, but the system should be alert.
At times, some adolescents under the pressure of social circumstances do not show the desired emotions, others - emotionally, falling into extremes. For example, often a child reveals adults in a lie, an inability to restrain the words.
Rejection of adolescents' opinion of "parents" frustrates adults. It happens that lush irritability is associated with an immitating thought about passing through the footsteps of parents. The tactics on the part of adults are unprofitable, as it generates a protest that may end in a scandal, and sometimes a departure from the walls of the house.
Late adolescence: from 16-17 years old to adulthood
The behavior of adolescents at the age of 16 years tends to self-regulate. Values gradually begin to be located in a hierarchical order. The motives that lead to reflection and reflection form a partial understanding of the existing adult legislation in the world, which will have to be adopted.
17 years old - the age of choice, which is difficult to make for a teenager. Fears to admit a mistake, not to cope with the tasks entailed in passivity in actions, avoidance. The turning point is at the end of school education. Socum presses on professional self-determination, and the teenager is confused.
The tendency to be in reflection, youthful fear of insolvency - all these are traits of a teenager at age 17.Excessive caring of parents, tireless checking for the life of a child, dictate can generate doubt in the doubtful child, which gradually grow into stiffness.
What are the difficulties in parenting?
Difficulties in organizing the educational process for children overcome adults: mothers and dads. Presenting demands, the father can get into trouble, if he himself does not correspond to the instructions given by the children. Adults, representing an example, do not diverge in words and deeds, cope with the educational task easier.
Parents have not been found to have an adequate level of care for their children in the early years of their life, when such necessary maternal care and parental support are the cause of difficulties in upbringing.
Dominance in the parent hierarchy of careers distorts the adolescent's perception of the family, and therefore the family ties weaken, and the children are removed.
A burning on the verge of parental insanity acts stiflingly on a teenager. If caring was detected and in childhood, then it's a habitual emotion for children. In the case when parents have become aware of their incapacity for years as mothers and dads, they can stumble on their protest.
Typical mistakes of parents in the education of adolescent siblings
For some reason, it is generally considered correct that educational attitude towards young men, when only a strict muskrat is capable of forming a true man in all senses. And it does not take into account the experience gained by parents from their parents, when such dictatorship left in memories only a reed and crippled youth.
Certainly, courage is instilled from childhood. That's only to deprive the boy of manifestations of caresses, a feeling of parental love, attention to his world, you can bring up a cruel and unconscious man. There is also such that the obsessive desire of adults to grow on his own model young man dominates, not taking into account the peculiarities of an individual character.
Hazardous exclamation: "You are the upcoming man!" The child undergoes a change in the psyche as it grows, so courage is formed gradually, and the manifestation of certain "weaknesses" is permissible for everyone. If an adult is inconsistent in the educational process: it pounds or falls into a curse of punishment, then you will not have to wait for a positive result.
The quarrels of father and mother in the eyes of a growing son will later be the cause of brutality in women's attitudes. The same indicator lies in the inconsistency of the actions of mother and father in the upbringing of her son.
It is disadvantageous for young men to be compared with their peers, the emphasis on unacceptable behavior, and the imposition of negative installations. Intellectual development of young people is not harmful to physical harm.
Parents' typical mistakes in the upbringing of teenage daughters
Obvious mistakes of parents and in the organization of the educational process concerning the daughters. Erroneous settings, when severity is the best lever of influence on a spicy teenager. So-called gloves, "iron", will never have the effect if the girl does not get more than deserved tenderness, parental care, maternal care.
If the father or mother is categorical, inexorable, and only do what they give away to the disputed orders, then the daughter, locked in herself from the rejection of her personality, conceals the image of the male gender as a whole.
The other side of the medal manifests itself in upbringing, when the daughter is raising their parents on the pedestal. Converting the hyper-life of a child into a fairy tale, there is an error that can cost my daughter in the future. All permissibility in conditions of such education distorts the perception of the world, forms the feeling that everything is created only for the child, and if desired, it can be easily obtained.
A position when a daughter - a friend, a colleague - is unprofitable, and, above all, for the youngest girl himself. Parental arbitrariness in discussing any issues, including intimate, will break the unsustainable child's psyche. Excessive secret criticism of his father's behavior may also serve as an obstacle in dealing with men in the future.
Some parents resist the birth of a daughter without taking a gift of fate. Therefore, it is up to you to bring up the daughter of a serf-like descendant who secretly wants to see her son. Despite their resistance, they take every effort in this blasphemous upbringing.
Parents often believe that when a child is small, he needs careful attention, maximum attention. And this, indeed, is true. Here's just a teenager in the period of puberty resembling a baby who is helpless and lonely. It does not sound healthy to ignore the baby, and it is impossible to throw on the long way of becoming a young child.
Dialogue is a better speech communication with a teenager, since neither democracy nor dictates can fully meet the need for communication between loved ones. Knowing the circle of communication of the child, occupying his head problems, the father shows his participation in the life of his beloved child. Caution in assessing the child's appearance, her interests deserve respect from the adolescent.
The period of transition from childhood to the world of adults is marked by a heartfelt feeling of loneliness. It is at this stage that a teenager needs communication, namely: to speak and be heard. However, it's not necessary to encourage the child's wrong behavior. Again, it is worth resorting to a dialogue.
An example from the father himself, when it is not welcomed or promoted in the family by the use of shy words, which speeches, revealing facts in the address of other people, is the best means of educating a worthy person.