Adaptation of a child in kindergarten: psychologist's advice
- 24 Aug 12:15
The time when a child goes to a kindergarten is very difficult for himself and for his parents. The first days, or even weeks in a preschool institution, are not a difficult test for all family members. Tears and whimsy in the morning, a disturbing condition that is transmitted from children to adults, constantstay in stress, increased excitability or, conversely, lethargy and apathy. And this is far from a complete list of external manifestations that some parents tend to call empty whims. Meanwhile, the problem lies far deeper and it is necessary to help the child to overcome this really difficult period for him. How to help a child adapt to the team and make trips to a kindergarten for a real holiday, psychologists will suggest.
Table of contents
1. Difficulties of the adaptation period in children
2. How to ease the child's adolescence into kindergarten
3. Typical mistakes of parents, counseling psychologist
4. Detection of childhood fears
5. Ways to reduce child stress
6. Instead of the conclusion
Difficulties of adaptation period
Complete child maladaptation is observed quite rarely, according to statistics, in only one case of a hundred. However, all children, both preschoolers and adults, are inclined to adapt to varying degrees. Even an adult with a normal psyche sudden change in the usual rhythm of life can cause serious stress, not to mention a weak and defenseless baby. First and foremost, the difficulties of adaptation related to separation from parents. Sometimes it seems to a child that nobody loves him anymore, they all refused it.
It has been noticed that boys are more likely to suffer from separation from their mother than between girls and between three and five years.
Violation of the established rhythm of life, habitual behavior patterns. If the child has never before experienced autonomy or interaction with peers, then he has no new model of behavior, and he does not know how to behave in the new circumstances. Hence, there may be conflicts with both educators and other children.
The most common reasons why children refuse to attend pre-school establishments are fears and increased emotionality. Consider them.
- Excessive experience or increased emotionality of the child. Still not completely formed the child's psyche is incapable of coping with a squall of new emotions and feelings that collapse on the baby from the first days of staying in a new place. Often, it scares the child and does not allow him to adequately assess the reality.
- Fear of the unknown. The little man is lost, he does not know what is waiting for him in the future. New routine, new people to whom he is not used.
- Particularly difficult adaptation occurs in those children who were almost always brought up in a kindergarten to kindergarten. At home, the threshold for prohibitions is much lowered, and in the kindergarten new and new ones "can not" surround it from all sides.
- The severity of educators often contrasts sharply with the parent's goodwill, which violates the child's past behavioral patterns.
In addition, now many things have to be done on their own, so it's very important to accustom to performing at least elementary self-service activities from an early age.
How to ease the child's adolescence into kindergarten
The period of adaptation most psychologists divided into three stages: preparatory, main and final. During the preparatory stage, tell the child what kindergarten is what it is doing. Remember some funny stories about your own life related to staying in a garden. It is better to even go with him "on an excursion", get acquainted with the children and educators, pay attention to the beauty around the kindergarten and comfort inside.
Even before the visit to a preschool institution, you have to teach the child some basic self-care activities: to dress yourself and undress, tuck laces, use a toilet, a fork and a spoon, a toothbrush. Approximately two or three months before the visit to kindergarten, one must establish a regime close to the regime in the institution, and try to keep it strictly, even on weekends. It will not be overwhelming to educate a toddler on new dishes, if before this his diet was different than in kindergarten.
The main stage involves directly staying in the group, but for a short time: from one to three hours in the first two weeks. It is important to form positive emotions both from the garden and gradually prepare for a longer separation from the house. The first few days you can even live with your child, gradually increasing your time of independent stay.
At the final stage, the child should spend in the kindergarten for four hours or more, you can leave him on a day's sleep. When the mood, sleep and appetite of the baby come to the normal, we can assume that the adaptation period is over.
But just as easily and it seemed that it was not time to get used to it infrequently, for a child, just like for any person, such a change of environment is stress and the parents' task is to minimize it.
Typical Mistakes of Parents, Psychologist's Tips
The most common mistake is the lack of readiness for a negative reaction from the child or simply unwillingness to deal with the problem. Parents may seem that he just scorns, trying to attract extra attention."We walked - and nothing," - they say so often, forgetting that they themselves felt a lot of stress at first. Parents may not be ready for excessive tearfulness, not knowing that crying is the main child reaction to stress. In this regard, the frequent mistake is punishment or lice, which only worsens the situation.
Parents often stop paying attention to the child, they are interested in his affairs, hoping that in a preschool institution, and so, everything is fine, the educators will cope perfectly with everyone. In this case, the child may feel particularly frustrated with separation from parents, feel abandoned and not in need of anyone. In addition, with all the stressful situations, he will have to cope on his own, which can lead to unjustified aggression in attempts to protect himself, and vice versa - isolation, alienation, nervousness.
The opposite of the same mistake is excessive burns, tightened and even tearful farewell in the morning and immediate return to take home.
It has already been mentioned above that the moment of parting must pass on a positive wave. Some parents, seeing that the child is doing something, are trying to disappear invisibly. A child, turning away from her studies, suddenly realizes that she is not, she does not know when she will come back and go back at all. He will be terribly intimidated, he may have the impression that he can suddenly throw and leave one at a time, which can lead to much deeper psychological trauma.
In no way can you scare a child into a kindergarten, and especially threaten that you will never take it back. In this case, the baby will inevitably make up the idea of a garden as a scary place where you can not go back.
One can not promise rewards for just one fact of visiting kindergarten. In the future, for a child, this can become a means of blackmail of parents: I will not go to the garden, if you do not buy a toy. But for good behavior in the garden or for any concrete successes it is possible and necessary to be encouraged.
One of the common mistakes made by parents is a negative statement to the address of the caregiver in the presence of the child. Even a kid will not understand what he is talking about, but he intuitively feels that his mother is dissatisfied with something, and he will have an idea that a kindergarten is a place where everything is not so good and educators can also be bad people who can cause it.damage.
Unacceptable sharp entry into a new baby environment. Some parents minimize the adaptation period or do not pay attention to it. The child is forced to quickly change the mode of the day, habits, early in the morning in a hurry to him with a shout drag somewhere, leave there alone, with strangers for an indefinite time. .. All this is not necessary, but it can quite lead to certain violations of the psyche.
Detection of children's fears
For the identification of childhood fears in psychology, several of the most frequently used diagnostic methods are used: methodical guidance on the identification of children's fears A. V. Zakharov and M. A. Panfilov's "Fears in small houses", projective system AV Zakharov "My fears ", a questionnaire to the level of anxiety by R. P. Lavrentyevo and T. M. Titarenko, tests by P. Baker and M. Alvard, a projective manual - a methodology from the emotional relationships in the family" Picture of the Family "V.K.Losevoy R. and T. Khomentauskas and the method of detection of the emotionI will feel the state of health of L. Lebedeva.
Using the manual, you can draw a conclusion on the whole range of fears in a child over three years of age. Testing takes place in game mode and drawing. The kid responds to questions and in case of confirming the answers( 3 out of 5, or 6), fears are classified. Such testing is not difficult, special skills are not required.
A child, in the course of communicating on the actual memoirs of the terrible episodes of his life, paints colored pencils and explains the depicted. It is supposed that as a result of a session a child will come "reorientation" of internal psychological "settings" from protective to constructive - positive.
The principle is based on the study of Max Luscher: using a different color of pencils, the child "emanates" in the panel projection of types of self-perception( blue - satisfaction of what is happening - desire for mutual understanding, unity, red - vital activity, optimism - desire for success, leadership, green -thoughtfulness and deep approach - the desire for constancy, power, desire for knowledge, light - yellow - majors' playfulness, sociability - like changes, value freedom, hope for good; the choice of gray, brown and black colors tonstatuye presence of severe stress).
This test is a nonverbal story of an intimate, inner "I" baby for an experienced psychologist.
A family picture indicates the state of the climate of home relations and the child's attitude towards parents. Often, in the positive, from the perspective of adults, the families are sharply opposite children's assessment of home situations.
Explaining the picture and answering the test questions the child "talks" with his inner vision of the world and the family.
Psychologists working in preschool establishments will help to identify the fears of the child from the above methods and will be able to give parents advice on adapting the baby to the garden. By these methods, parents themselves can determine what their child is afraid of in the garden.
Ways to reduce the stress of the child
First you need to understand what complicates the adaptation of the child in the kindergarten. If the problem lies on the surface, then it is easy to localize and solve it. But it happens that parents encounter a whole set of hidden difficulties that they are not able to solve on their own. In this case, it is better to turn to a professional psychologist.
You need to know what emotions can occur in a child during the adaptation period to neutralize the negative and strengthen the positive. As a rule, fears, anger, and insult are most clearly expressed in the negative. Positive - the joy of knowing the new, the pleasure of communication, the satisfaction of a sense of independence.
At the first time it is better if the child will be in the kindergarten no more than three hours a day, gradually staying in a group increase. Be sure to tell the baby when you come back so he does not feel left alone and alone. Think together the lessons before your return. Laughter is the best medicine for stress. Joke before leaving so that parting, albeit for only a few hours, takes place on a positive wave. Do not let it "smile" yourself: laugh is contagious, and cry is contagious double.
Allow the child to bring with him his favorite toys: so he will feel connected with the house. Sometimes such a trick helps: let a child in the garden not take away any parent, and someone from other family members. Then the moment of leaving in the group will not be so acute.
Be sure to experience this new period for you. I wonder what his day was like, what happened in the group, what he learned about the new one, what he played with whom he met. Praise for success and help with advice if your child has difficulties. You can tell how you passed the day in his absence. The child will feel support and know that he has not been given to himself and has not been refused from him. Do not forget to emphasize that now he became an adult and independent, every day goes to the garden just as Mom and Dad are going to work.
Before going to bed, you can once again talk with your child about tomorrow's trip to kindergarten, to consider positive moments. To sleep the baby it is necessary to make a little earlier than usual: in fact even an adult, if he feels himself not sleeping, is more prone to negative emotions and stress.
Instead of finding
The adaptation period for different children occurs differently - for someone it is practically imperceptible, and someone faces very serious problems. On average, it's two to three months, during which it is absolutely necessary to help the child to learn and get used to a new way of life for him, to show patience and kindness.